Alone but not Alone
by amuletkitty
Summary: Whatever happened to Lyra now that Will has gone, it seems forever, but Lyra still believes Will can hear her,but has Will moved on?
1. Chapter 1,

**This is a story about getting over love, set when Lyra and Will are 25. This is a first short chapter to introduce Lyra as an adult, changed? Or still the same old Lyra? This chapter is based on a monologue my drama teacher set me based on the play, and about really digging deep and getting into the character. If you want when you're reading the speech read it aloud, it will give more of an effect on you. **

**His Dark Materials is owned by *the Great* Phillip Pullman**

**enjoy... **

Lyra walked slowly through the streets of Oxford, uneasy to get to her destination. Lifting her hands to her face, she blew on them revealing a cloud of cold air. Pan looked at her with sympathy, not for the temperature but for her willingness to continue walking. Approaching the garden, she stumbled on a rock; it was almost if the world was trying to stop her. Her long red coat covered her shivering, but couldn't cover her pale white face, which again it wasn't the temperature.

Pan hopped up on to the bench at the other side of the decaying garden. The tree's leaves had died long ago, even the weeds hadn't survived, however the rose bush next to the bench had been frozen still keeping some of their blood red colour. Lyra sat down next to Pan toward the middle of the old bench, already slightly slanted.

Staring at what seems to be an invisible wall. At 25, it would've seemed Lyra hasn't changed one bit, from passers by she seemed like a lost child. Lyra knew that she couldn't let Will go that easily so she kept her agreement, to come back every year at New Year. Opening her mouth ready to speak, the cold hit the back of her throat making her close it again. She seemed to think first, to get the words right completely think that will was listening.

"I came Will once again. _(She paused)_ alone but not alone. Waiting watching the same empty space, I know you are watching to, that same empty space as I am. We are together at last though so far apart. Oh, pan I know you miss him to, maybe there is some way that we can see him, maybe another window not yet closed. Yes, I know impossible. What if he is not there, what if he has forgotten or maybe met someone and they are there together, laughing and waiting for nothing. I know I should not be jealous, in a way I am glad that he has moved on, found another, married, starting a family. I can't bear it! Maybe Daisy is right; you would want me to move on wouldn't you. It would make you happy; you would love to see that I am happy, as I would love to see that you are."

Lyra paused to gaze at Pan, who snuggled closer to Lyra's frozen coat. She began to speak slowly again.

"We changed everything, yet no one in your world will have a clue. Oh, Will I feel so alone, after all that time ours worlds haven't changed one little bit! It feels like it was all for nothing, like everything we've been through has all ended up the same, nothing is different nothing is new. When we were travelling, all I thought about was the time we were in, sometimes wondering if I would have a future at all. I've now found out I've got a whole life ahead of me, but not a clue how to live it… without you. I don't think there will be a moment in my life when I don't hear your voice. It's like the Oxford birds you know they are always chirping but you don't know where from, and they're always in the background. I never dreamed what it would feel like, to love someone so much. "

**Hoped you enjoyed the chapter, review...**


	2. Chapter 2,

**Will's world has changed a lot since Lyra has, gone so has his life. But has he really moved on, or has his new life brought him closer then ever to Lyra? This chapter is based on my ideal house, a dream I once had, the women character was influence by * the great * NAYOME, who has helped me so far with this story . **

**His dark Materials is owned by *the Great * Phillip Pullman **

**enjoy. . .**

In another world not so far away, Will sighed. Looking through what Lyra had seen as an invisible wall, as if Will had given up hope no longer believed anything was there.

The small wooden bench was polished with a new lighter beach colour, moving on from its previous dull oak. The wall the back of the bench used to touch had been replaced with a hedge, blooming with lavender flowers (even though Will's favourite was red), as the hedge belonged to the garden of Will's city house. Will had bought the land from the community to stay close to Lyra, but after not just coming to the bench every year, but coming to it everyday, his hope for every reuniting had been lost. The garden was small unlike the house; the house was 3 stories and had surprisingly red bricks, although ivy covered half of it. Whizzing by the noise of traffic disturbed the seemingly calm atmosphere. The smell of burnt pizza didn't rise from the nearby pizza place, but from the kitchen.

"Dam it" Will muttered under his breath.

"Will?" An angelic voice almost sang from the kitchen.

"Coming sweetie" Will said with a dry throat. Will put his hand on the bench using what seemed like all his strength to pry himself away, as today was different from any other day, Lyra might be on the other side.

Standing up, Will put on foot in front of each other up the long grass, stamping down intruding weeds. As he reached the door, he saw a familiar smiling face. Pale white face and long dark hair stared at the little imperfection Will was. Will tried to reply with half a grin, but ended up looking back to bench, trying to hide his grief about leaving his normal spot. Her pale pink lips started to open as if to speak but Will interrupted.

"Don't worry hon, I've got it" Will said in the nicest tone he could force out. Will made his way to the oven, scraping the remains of the burnt pizza on to a plate, examining the remains. She concluded that the remains were worthless, and took the plate from Will and disposed of it, licking her finger and picking off the cooked cheese. Will smiled but tried to hide it, he loved her cute little moments of madness. Will opened the fridge as the ice cold air rushed out he shivered, catching the attention of the smallest person in the room.

"You shouldn't spend so much time in the garden." She requested kindly, stroking his freezing hands." I care about you, and it's getting to your health" Will only responded with a loving look into her cute hazel eyes, with her huge black eyelashes. He handed her some frozen Quorn burgers, and a readymade ice berg lettuce. She took both of them, put the burgers in the oven, and turned the alarm volume up. She reached down for his waist and pulled him closer to her, so they could feel the temperatures in each other's breaths. He put his arms round her waist and his head on her shoulder. They both enjoyed the moment but did not speak. Then something else cleared the silence, the phone ringing.

"I better get that, it's my mu…." Her words trailed, off as she saw the pain in Wills eyes. She hurried to the phone, not looking back.

Heading outside again Will caught a glimpse of a Robin sitting on a branch, something inside will knotted. Grabbing his stomach, he couldn't take his eyes off the bird that reminded him of her. Pan, it pained him to think of his name , once took that form. The birds eyes met with his, sensing Wills irritation the bird took flight into a near by cloud. How Will envied it's flight. Sitting down next to the lavender coloured flowers, that should be red, Will began to think of what to say to Lyra.

"Ly…" he could not bear to say her name, was it that painful?"Lyra, even though every day I have spent here.." he stopped irritated with himself for phrasing it wrong. Rubbing his hands together, he looked up a the grey sky sensing a moister atmosphere, so he decided to keep it short hoping some how his words would get through.

" I miss you Lyra, I would give my soul to see you again"

**Can Will really exists without Lyra ? **

**Who is this woman?**

**And why is Will so upset when she says 'Mu.............'**

**all will be reviled ...**

**Hoped you enjoyed the chapter, review.( even if it's just to say hi )**


	3. Chapter 3,

**Back to Lyra's world, the next morning Lyra still hasn't moved from the same spot with a worried pan she seems in a trance. I got the idea for the male character whilst finishing the 4 novels of twilight- again the character's in the story are not mine, they belong to *the great* Phillip Pullman.**

**Enjoy...**

Lyra did not move, for it seemed hours. A worried Pan nudged her gently, rubbing up against a bit of exposed skin just under her knitted dull red gloves. Still she did not budge. Many people passed by throughout the day, some ignoring the silent woman others whispering, hissing insults under their breath. The only time her eyes moved from the fixed spot straight ahead, was to stare back to the seemingly invisible wall. Her hand mirroring a mime artist almost touching it, to passersby it seemed unlikely, but to her it was real. Pans squirrel face expression was of comfort but shy about it.

The small bench was not inviting with a colourless woman sitting staring, yet someone found it appealing. Smiling a young man of about 26, roughly shaven and a dark brunette, was undoubtedly hansom. Without noticing it, a glow lit up Lyra's hopeless face. Pan's head turned suddenly to meet the strangers face, it was awkward as a daemon did not often look directly at a person, but Lyra's mind was somewhere else. Slowly the stranger stepped forward towards the bench, as if waiting for a reaction. Taking another step Pan started to nibble on Lyra's coat, which caused her wrist pain but did not snap her out of her trance. The man was seemingly interested in the full-grown daydreamer. He took a step back, then forward as if to draw attention to himself.

"Lyra" Pan whispered close to her ear. The man came very close to the bench resting his knees on the edge of the seat, staring into her deep hazel eyes. Lyra's eyes slowly turned to look towards him, but stared over him to the invisible wall. His head jerked into the space to meet her eyes, she blinked suddenly.

"I'm sorry did I wake you?" the man spoke in a soft low tone, almost humming what he spoke. Spinning round to face backward to the bench, he sat down in the space where Will would sit. Lyra was cross about this but tried to hide it. He let out a small laugh, which a daemon should've joined in with.

"What!" Shocked covered Lyra's face, not enough shock to satisfy the stranger. She then Lyra's face turned into a large smirk. Pan still confused leaped up onto Lyra's shoulder, to then realise and let out a smirk as well.

"Confused lady? Sorry what is your name?" He hummed with a sudden confused look.

"No, and my name is not lady… it is Lyra." She almost shouted back at him, but then realised her sudden response and took a deep breath to control herself.

"Oh, you noticed not many do when people meet me, and they (he paused) never mind. Ahhh Lyra what a beautiful name. I assume you don't intend to spend all of New Year's morning sitting in the cold, heh?" The man looked at Lyra, with a worried but kind face.

"OK I understand. I expect you would like to introduce yourself as you already know about me?" Lyra replied she had not be this cheeky in years.

"Oh yes, of corse my name is Joel" Lyra gulped, such a Wills world name. "And I come from London, and i had nothing to do this New Year so I came to Oxford. This is because I heard it's beautiful and up untill now I thought that was not true." Lyra blushed; bright pink had filled the empty cheeks. She glanced at his face, it didn't look at all like Will, but still a kind stranger reminded her of Will. Gulping again a small tear settled in the corner of her eye. Pan jumped into her arms curling up.

"Yes well I'm here to remember a dear friend, who has been lost, to well… maybe you know of other worlds" Lyra did not know why she was revealing her secrets, to this man something about his presence, and lack of presence, claimed her.

"How do you know about them?" His tone was now serious; his eyes examined her face like a police officer to a criminal. The stranger suddenly noticed the tears rolling down a cold cheek, almost freezing halfway down her face. Taking blame, he said again, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you". Lyra nodded then looked up to him , he still had the stern look on his face. She knew others had heard of the different worlds; however she didn't know anyone who spoke of them in anger. Who was this man?

**thank you for reading, please review. **

**amulet kitty ( Alice )**


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